I Wish I Could Have Been There
Written by: John Anderson, Kent Robbins Performed by John Anderson "It was a happy day but kinda sad I wish I could have been there I wish I could have been there I wish I could have been there, for that"
LIFEGRIEF
Jessi
7/25/20261 min read


When someone you love dies, normal life is hard, especially at first. It's been 8 1/2 months since my mom died and my grief is still a daily emotion. The "good" days are finally, kind of, sort of, starting to outnumber the bad ones. It's weird, because you don't even realize you've been having "bad" days until a really good one comes along.
Last month my dad and I took the Littles to the state fair. My dad was accepting an award my mom was receiving for the 4-H Hall of Fame. The ceremony was nice, and tears were shed but afterwards we just enjoyed a good, old fashioned day at the fair. We ate fair food, the kids rode rides, milked a cow and the weather was perfect. It honestly couldn't have been a better day.
The sneaky thing I've learned about grief though is, at the end of a good day, my mom's still not there. And that sucks.
It makes, "a happy day, kind of sad..." and I wish she could've been there for that.
Originally written September 2023
Jessica Westerman
Barefoot realist with a side of sarcasm. Homeschool fails & wins, strict budget, celiac grudges, grief, faith, and figuring out who I am now.
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© 2026 Jessica Westerman-Written and designed at a kitchen table in rural Illinois.
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